Should We Always Reward Kids in Martial Arts? Or Is It Okay to Let Them Fail Sometimes?

We get it. As parents and coaches, we want our kids to feel proud, stay motivated, and enjoy their Taekwondo journey. That’s why we cheer them on during belt tests, give them high-fives during classes after nice target kicking and Forms and we give them stripes when they’re working hard. But sometimes the best lesson is learned without the reward.

Why Failure Is Not the Enemy

Letting kids “fail” (of course in a safe and supportive way) helps them build resilience. It teaches them how to:
- Handle pressure without shutting down
- Set real goals and work for them
- Appreciate the reward because it wasn’t handed to them (They earned it)

When a student doesn’t pass a stripe test or needs more time before a belt promotion, it’s not punishment—it’s an opportunity. We get to say: “Let’s keep working so you will be there, and you feel great when you earn your stripe or new belt.”


In sports psychology, there’s a concept called “growth mindset.” It’s the belief that abilities can be developed through effort, not just natural talent. When kids think effort and consistency matters more than trophies, they start to:
- Focus better
- Feel less anxiety
- Stay motivated longer
- Become more confident in themselves

Always rewarding without challenge can actually weaken their confidence, because they start to feel like they have to win or they’re not good enough. Letting them face (small, manageable) setbacks helps build true confidence that doesn’t shake when things get tough.

Taekwondo Is the Perfect Place to Learn This

- Let kids miss a stripe and come back stronger next week.
- Guide them when they fall, and cheer when they stand up again.

And you know what? The kids love it. Because they know they earned it.

What we recommend Parents can do:

- Don’t rush in to fix everything. Let them sit with the feeling for a bit.
- Ask: “What do you think you could do differently next time?”
- Remind them: “Not getting it right away is normal.”
- Say: “I’m proud of how hard you’re trying even if they lost their game,” not just “I’m proud because you passed.”

In the End...

Taekwondo isn’t just about kicking, punching or perfect forms and sparring. It’s about life lessons. And sometimes, life doesn’t give out ribbons for showing up.

So yes, we reward. But we also let our students feel the weight of trying again. Because that’s how they grow—not just into black belts, but into strong, kind, resilient human beings.

At Elite Fire Taekwondo, we’re all about encouragement—but we’ve also learned something important over the years: not every step needs a trophy.